Welcome to My Record
by WonWon-7
Summary: I'm just another one. A number. A song. A played record.
1. Tie Her Down

Disclaimer: OMFGSH. This is like my -counts on fingers- FIFTH story in 3 days. Gosh, I don't own any characters, though. Not, even any of the story titles. :(  
-- Story title name by: Senses Fail --

**Tie Her Down**

I'm just another one.  
A number.  
A song.  
A played record.

-----

I remember it like it were yesterday.

Walking along Hogsmeade's outskirts, there I was. Another girl. An outcast. The one who wanted what everyone else could get by snapping their fingers together. Never could I get anything like that. I was minding my own business, like anyone else that you would've seen, was doing. The school sent down everyone from third year to seventh years to Hogsmeade out for a day, so it was a bit crowded as one would say. I never interact much with people, so I got shoved and tossed around like a rag doll in the crowds there.

Nevertheless, I found myself there. Just...there. I was cradling on the floor crying. I didn't know why, I didn't know what was wrong. All I knew was that I wasn't alright. I knew that whatever had happened to me, I wouldn't outlive it. Whatever I knew...I knew it would haunt me to this very day. I'm just another one. A number. A song. A played record. The victim of a crime. I was raped.

-----

Look, it's me. Sitting there in my chair during one of my classes. I liked that class, a lot. But...now, I can't enjoy it much after what happened. My mind, my vision, my body, my **life** was taken over. Never could I be 'Ellie' anymore. Never could I be the person I've always wanted to become.

"I always felt like there was someone guiding me. Through the twisted maze of my reality." I said one day to my best friend, Matt. He was always there whenever I needed him. I never felt like I deserved someone so amazing to be my best friend. I wasn't anything special. It wasn't as if I was the diamond in his life or anything, but I always was his. I was his 'Glow Worm' he called me.

Funny, sort of a name, y'know? Glow worm. I miss him calling me that. I haven't seen him for so long, it tears me apart. There isn't anyone for me to talk to, while I'm in this state. I remember this one song, from back when I was little.

I always sang it to myself at night, when I couldn't fall asleep. "A dream is a wish your heart makes. When you're fast asleep. In dreams you will lose your heartaches. Whatever you wish for you keep. Have faith in your dreams and someday, your rainbow will come smiling through. No matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dream that you wish will come true."

After that day, I always sang it. My heart was certainly grieving. It wanted to be set free from its torture. From the pain that it had to suffer. Somedays, I wished that I could do that for my heart. For myself. No one knew me to be the suicidal one, never did they think that I was going to be the one to do something that would devastate them for years to come. But, no one ever knew what had happened. No one would ever know. I was going to die with this secret. No matter what it took.

-----

/ Flashback

"Eleanor Broden?" called out Professor Sprout, back in first year.

"Yes, ma'am."

"Great, you're here. Your partner will be," she said scanning her lot of students and her page. "Ah, you will be with Matthew Slyvin."

Looking around, I wondered who in the name of earwax was Matthew Slyvin? He waved at me from behind a couple of plants and gave me a small smile, not wanting to look like I was rude or anything, I waved back and gave him a small smile, only to knock over a small plant with a shrieking plant inside of its depths. Everyone's hands shot up to their ears and I was there on the floor knocked out. Like a limp, lifeless piece of nothing. Only few ran over to help and one was Matthew.

Flashback

That was the first day that I made a friend and it was lifelong as well. From then on, since the part with the knocking over with the pot, to the jumping in of the conjured up pool sized jello, to the part where we made a list of stupid words that we still use to this day, to the Christmas visits at each other houses by Floo, we've been there for each other through thick and thin.

No wonder, I can't live without Matt. No wonder, I can't tell him.

One time, back when we were in fourth year, I remember that I thought that I had liked my best friend. It was weird on both of us. Strange and unnoticed. Although, in the end he coughed up his little secret as well. He liked me, too. But, we didn't want to ruin our relationship as best friends. I mean what if something happened between us in fourth year and it couldnt be fixed? We didn't want to risk it all. Even though...we still like each other. Atleast, I hope he still likes me.

Wait, no. I don't want him to like me. I don't want anyone to like someone like me. Not then, not now, not ever. Ever. I don't want to deal with life. Life's already had its fair share of tolls. It doesn't need anymore deposits of lies and people not being there, when you need them the most. That's why I did it.

That's why I, Eleanor Broden, decided that life wasn't worth living for anymore. It should mean something or nothing to you at all. There isn't a reason for you to feel sorry for me. There isn't one reason for you to be the one that might've changed my view on life, love and deceit.

Not one.

-----

**&& AN: **I hope you like it?  
This is one of my first first person stories, so I might come out to be a bit confusing. Plus, if somewhere in the story gets a bit like 'WTF?' I was tired. Really. :P  
_Bit_ shorter than lots of my other stories, but that's okay. I like this one a lot.  
So, eh..review please? Thank you. D

P.S. I stole my title from a song. HelloGoodbye's. Love it. Tell me what you think about it. Pwease? Yay.  
Also, song lyrics "A Wish is a Dream Your Heart Makes" from somewhere. I forgot. Oopsies.


	2. I Miss You

Disclaimer: Yeah, yeah. I **own**. My own characters. Geez. How pathetic.

**I Miss You**

I'm just another one.  
A number.  
A song.  
A played record.

-----

Sometimes, I wonder when she'll wake up. When she'll look at me with her big brown eyes. Her eyes always made me smile. Everything about her made me smile. But, Madame Pomfrey says that she'll stay in the Hospital Wing for a longer time than excepted. I wonder how she feels to be in coma.

I hate what she did to herself. Why would she do that to herself? Why? I mean doesn't her life, her friends, her family or her time at school mean anything to her? I just...don't get it. What's wrong with this picture. Is that really Eleanor Broden from first year? All those years, I wouldn't've ever thought of her as the one who would want to kill herself. Or attempt to. It's completely insane.

But, all I have of her before she tried it, was on my pillow. A note to me.

_I love you, Matt. I'm sorry that I couldn't've been a better best friend, but I can't deal with life anymore.  
__It hurts to be here. It hurts to even think about what's happened. I didn't want it to come to this.  
__When you're reading this, I'm most likely to be dead at this moment. But, I want you to remember that no matter what--  
__You were my own. I will always love you. Always.  
_

_Thank you for always being there.  
__When I see you again, when you come to see me, I'll make it up to you.  
__Promise._

_Glow Worm :)_

_P.S. That smiley face is for you. So that you know that I will always be watching over you.  
__Tell my parents I love them. Please. Thanks._

Confusing. So confusing. WHY WOULD SHE DO THIS! Shit.

-----

I walked out of Charms class. The damn teacher wouldn't even notice, which he didn't. I walked past many classes, Potions, Transfiguration and I believe it was Muggle Studies or something of that sort as I walked my way to the Hospital Wing. I just needed to see her again. Make sure that she was still breathing and with us on this earth. She was of course my glow worm.

When I went to see her, I sang her her favorite song from when she was little that she sang herself to sleep with, when she wasn't able to fall asleep, I remember her telling me. Lately before she tried this, she always sang it, as well. It was odd, like something was wrong. I should've seen the signs. How could I have been so blind to such actions? I am her best friend aren't I?

Well, when I finished the song, Pomfrey came bustling in and shooed me away from her. It was like being punched in the face by your enemy when I left her so helpless. I wish I could help her.

**I love her.**

-----

**&& AN: **Short, I know. You can throw all the tomatoes you want at me. Sorry. Well, I hope you like it anyhoooo.

Review, please! XD


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